


Through the Sleepless Nights

by athousandcas



Series: Through the Sleepless Nights [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Hopefully some fluff, I mean it's hard to determine if my own writing is fluffy, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, but yeah
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-11
Updated: 2014-05-27
Packaged: 2018-01-04 09:05:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1079123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/athousandcas/pseuds/athousandcas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That one where Arthur is an insomniac and Merlin is a cheeky writer who just kinda slips into Arthur's life and makes himself at home.</p><p>Inspired by a post on tumblr that had a list of AUs that needed to be done more often. This one was "stuck in line at the same one register in walmart at 2am aus" so this came from that. I hope you enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fate and What Have You

Beep.

Sigh.

Beep. 

The guy in front of him burps.

Beep.

"Next," the old lady behind the counter drawls.

Arthur moves forward a whole two inches before coming to a stop. He finds himself wondering why only one cash register is open when there are at least five people in front of him and three behind him. Then he wonders why so many people are at Wal-Mart at two in the morning to begin with, because who does that? Oh. Right, apparently he does. 

He lets out a short sigh and closes his eyes. If he tries hard enough, he almost feels as if he's at home, sleeping in his bed.

"Aw, cheer up, mate. It's not that bad," Arthur hears a voice close by his ear and turns around.

He stares at the man for several minutes - partly because he's so tired and a little slow - but also because the man is the most gorgeous he's ever seen. He's tall, not much taller than Arthur, and lanky but has a strong build which is visible through his brown jacket and red shirt underneath. Arthur's eyes travel up, past the blue scarf (and really, nobody should look that good in a bloody scarf), where he sees full lips stretching over a wide, toothy grin that seems to radiate the sun. The man has mile high cheekbones and eyes so blue and clear, Arthur can practically feel himself fall into them.

The man is saying something and Arthur startles himself out of his daze. "What? Oh, right. I'm not sure how it could get much worse. This is torture."

"Well, you obviously haven't been here for the three o'clock rush, then," the man jokes with a quick laugh.

"Really? Do you frequent this place often, then?" Arthur asks with a raised eyebrow and a mocking tone.

The man smiles and nods, "Unfortunately, I am what one considers a regular." He pushes Arthur when the hint of laugh starts to appear in Arthur's face. "Don't judge, you prat! You don't know me."

Arthur stops laughing and looks seriously at the man. He thinks to himself he wouldn't mind that much if he did know more about this man.

"Alright then, stop the whole mysterious act, why are you here?" he asks the man.

The man's smile vanishes and he pulls on a serious face, he shakes his head slightly and says, "Oh no, I can't tell you. It's a secret. Plus I don't tell my personal business to dollopheads like yourself." The corners of his mouth pull up, giving his serious facade away.

"Dollophead? That's not even a word."

"It is now. You see, all the insults in the world wouldn't be able to perfectly describe you so I had to come up with a new one. Just for you." He winks and grins after the last bit.

Arthur laughs and quickly stops because he can't remember the last time he's genuinely laughed and felt this comfortable with someone.

The man just looks at Arthur for a moment before saying, "You know, you should laugh more often." He leans in, closer to Arthur. "You look quite good when you do."

Arthur feels his cheeks burning and gives a shaky laugh.

Whatever he was about to say is interrupted by the old lady snapping, "Look, boys, are you just going to stand there or are you gonna put your stuff up here so I can ring you up?"

Arthur jumps and quickly puts his two items on the counter. He gives the lady a small smile, "Sorry." He pulls his wallet out to get his money. He can hear the man chuckling behind him as he gets his things. Arthur gives one look over his shoulder and a small wave to the mysteriously good looking man before walking outside.

The cold, morning breeze hits him fast and he shudders as he makes his way to his car. He hears footsteps and sees someone fall into step next to him.

"Didn't want to leave without saying a proper goodbye," the man said, slightly out of breath in the wintry air. Arthur comes to a stop as he reaches his car and smiles at the man.

Before he can say anything the man gives one last bright smile and says, "Do try not to be such a prat in the future." He walks past Arthur, brushing shoulders. "I'll see you around," is the last thing he says before he slips around a corner of the building and into the dark morning.

Arthur's left standing in the cold, a whispered "See you" lost in the wind, but he doesn't mind. He's still filled with warmth from the other man's goodbye. He gets in his car and goes home. And if he doesn't stop smiling throughout the day, well he blames it on the lack of sleep.


	2. Just Haven't Met You Yet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That one where Arthur is an insomniac and Merlin is a cheeky writer who just kinda slips into Arthur's life and makes himself at home.

Arthur walks quietly past the aisles of the store, trying to be discreet as he looks down each aisle and its occupants, or rather its lack of occupants. He seems to be the only customer in the store this early morning. After successfully walking throughout the whole store, he retires himself to the candy aisle with a long-suffering sigh.

It’s been three days since he met the mysterious, completely gorgeous man at this store and he hasn’t seen him since. Not that he’s come here everyday since just to see him – no, of course not that’s completely ridiculous. And he’s definitely not been thinking nonstop of the man either. 

Arthur picks up a bag of gummy worms and is just about to turn to leave, disappointment heavy in his heart. 

“Hm. Wouldn’t peg such a testosterone, manly man like yourself for having a weak spot for the deliciousness that is gummy worms,” a voice says right behind Arthur, “I have to say, though, it is rather cute.”

Arthur tenses and whirls turns around to see the big goofy grin greeting him. He lets out an embarrassingly big sigh of relief and beams at the man in front of him.

“Hey! What are you doing here?” Arthur all but shouts at the man.

The man lets out a quick laugh and says, “Well why wouldn’t I be here? I am a regular, remember?”

“Yes, well, I happened to be here the past several days and I don’t recall seeing you – “ the man raises his eyebrows and looks incredulous. Arthur realizes what he’s said and quickly tries to back pedal. “Not that I was looking for you! I just- uh…. It’s kind of hard to miss your annoying know-it-all presence.” _Nice, very well done, Arthur, that was a great cover up,_ Arthur thinks to himself. He smiles smugly.

“Ah, so there it is. The clotpole has returned. I thought I told you to be nicer?” The man has an annoyed expression on his face and Arthur can’t help but start to feel irritated with his name-calling.

“Hey, now you can’t just go around calling people these names. Especially when you don’t even know me. What gives you the right?” Arthur demands.

“Oh, well I think I have all the right in the world to label you whatever I want when you and all your prattish prattiness comes waltzing in and insulting me.” 

Arthur realizes they’ve both inched closer together in the argument and he flushes at the close proximity. The man’s eyes are even bluer up close and – impossibly – more beautiful. Arthur swallows and a laugh bursts out of him unexpectedly. 

The tension between the two dissolves as the other man’s grin slowly get bigger and he starts laughing too.

Arthur’s laugh slowly dies out and he just looks at the other man. He feels really happy right here in this moment, a kind of happiness he’s never felt before. He wants more of it.

“What’s your name? I feel like I’ve known you forever but I don’t even know your name.” Arthur asks, and then looks down, as his cheeks burn red at his admission. He wonders what the record is for consecutive blushing in a span of ten minutes.

The other man doesn’t reply right away and his silence makes Arthur look up again to see him just looking at Arthur with a fond smile and bright eyes.

“Merlin, my name is Merlin.” He – Merlin – holds out a hand to shake.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Merlin. I’m Arthur.” Arthur takes Merlin’s hand and almost let’s out a shout of joy when he feels the softness of Merlin’s hand in his own. _Oh god, when did he become such a girl?_

Too soon, Merlin let’s go of Arthur’s hand and places it in his jacket pocket.

“So, it’s four in the morning on a Friday. Do you want to get crazy and go have a coffee with me?” Merlin asks, turning slightly and starting to walking away.

Arthur beams and follows after him. “I would love to, but there is one problem.”  
Arthur says with a touch of dread in his voice.

Merlin looks back and his smile fades a little, “Oh, what’s that?”

“We can’t get too crazy, I have a curfew.”

Merlin looks at Arthur and bursts out laughing. Arthur gets the worst case of butterflies at the sight.

“Don’t worry, it’s not a problem at all. I’ll have you home by ten.” Merlin smiles widely and continues walking.

****

“Alright, so we may not have thought this all the way through,” Merlin says as they walk up to the coffee shop door and stop.

The neon open sign remains off and stares at them through the glass, as if mocking them.

Arthur giggles – and seriously, _why the fuck is he giggling?_ – and turns around to start walking down the sidewalk.

“I don’t think they count on very many customers coming in the middle of the night.” Arthur replies. “Or any of the other businesses in this town. All six of them.”

Merlin laughs as he walks beside Arthur. “I didn’t know. I only just moved here three months ago.”

“Yeah? I’m new too, I moved here last week.” Arthur says.

“Why on earth would you choose to move here, of all places? Do you like the everyone-is-everyone’s-neighbor feeling?” Merlin asks.

“Not particularly, but I needed to get away from the big city feeling. It’s the only thing I’ve known and, well, after certain events that took place this past summer, I needed a change.” Arthur laughs. “Well, actually, I’m mostly just hiding from my father and he wouldn’t expect me to live in a place like this – so it’s perfect really.”

Merlin doesn’t ask questions and Arthur is grateful for that. “But what about you? If you don’t like it here, why did you move?”

Merlin makes a humming sound. “I grew up in a small town and hated it. I moved out when I went to college. So since then, I ‘ve lived in big cities and loved it. I hate this place because it reminds of the place I tried so hard to leave behind. I’m only here because I’m writing a book and my friend thought it might be good for my writer’s block to get away and experience something new.” Merlin gives a sheepish smile and looks at Arthur as if waiting for a reaction.

“Oh, waiting for me to mock you for being a writer? I’m glad you think so highly of me, Merlin.” Merlin laughs, a relieved expression on his face. “Plus I don’t really have much room to talk seeing as I’m unemployed myself.”

Merlin gasps, “Damn, I really thought you were the married to your work type of guy. Does this mean I can’t be your gold digger?”

Arthur laughs, making a choking sound hearing the implication of Merlin’s question. “Well, if anyone were to be my gold digger, I would want it to be you,” Arthur says batting his eyelashes.

Merlin gives a shocked laugh. “Smooth, very well done. I didn’t expect that from you.”

Arthur’s face scrunches up. He pushes Merlin gently, or what he meant to be gentle, but they were walking on a patch of ice and Merlin loses his balance. There’s a moment when his arms are flapping wildly at his sides, his mouth open in a circle, and Arthur can’t help but start laughing loudly. That is, until Merlin grabs Arthur’s arm and they hold onto each other, trying to keep their balance. It’s unsuccessful and they both fall hard on the cold ground with an grunt.

Merlin groans, “Arthur, will you get up? I can’t breathe!” Arthur discovers which body parts are his in the tangle of limbs and realizes he’s landed on top of Merlin.

“Oh! Sorry, sorry, I’ll just….yeah. Right.” Arthur tries to position his hands on the icy ground and push up so he doesn’t fall again. It results in him awkwardly scooting back, down Merlin’s legs, his butt in the air until he finally finds his balance again. He holds out his hand to help Merlin up.

Merlin gives him a brief glare but takes Arthur’s hand and stands up.

“Well that didn’t hurt quite as much as I feared,” Arthur says, fixing his scarf.

Merlin huffs as he smooths out his coat. “Yeah because you landed on me, you prat.” But he says it with a smile and once they fix themselves, they continue walking down the icy path, sticking close to each other in case of any other misplaced steps.

“Oh _Mer_ lin,” Arthur sighs, shaking his head. 

“What should we do? We have the whole day ahead of us,“ Merlin smiles at Arthur and holds onto Arthur’s arm to keep from falling. 

“Anything and everything,” Arthur replies, a grin tugging at his lips, _As long as it’s with you_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have another song for this chapter: Stars by The XX :)  
> Thank you for the love<3  
> Shall I continue, or maybe call it a night?  
> Edit:  
> So, I've received way more support than I expected or experienced before so thank you for that c:  
> and I know it's officially been about six months since I last updated and I'm a horrible person buuuut I'm writing the next chapter right now! so it will be updated soon. My goal this summer is to actually finish this story all the way (like with ends tied up and conclusions and closure and everything)


	3. Hold Me Tight Within Your Clutch

Arthur blinks slowly as he wakes up. He's lying on his stomach in his bed. The sun is peering through his blinds and he hears birds chirping. He rolls over and groans while rubbing his still tired eyes. Then he remembers the events of the previous night and he finds himself smiling hugely.

He and Merlin didn't end up doing much last night except walking around town and giggling like little teenagers that were trying not to get caught out past curfew. After covering the whole town, Arthur had walked Merlin home, to his apartment building not too far from Arthur's own. They ended up on the front steps and Arthur wanted to kiss him, but he thought it might be too soon. His heartbeat pounded in his ears as he stared at Merlin and Merlin just looked at Arthur, on the verge of laughter, like he could hear Arthur's internal conflict. Arthur had let out a shaky breath and held out his hand. Merlin laughed, still grinning, and just shook his hand. Arthur groans at that as he recalls the night before. Why was he such an idiot?

Trying to ignore his embarrassment, he realizes he's slept for a good eight hours without any nightmares. He checks his clock three times just make sure, and yep, he actually had a good night's sleep. He feels well rested and he marvels at the foreign feeling. Arthur hasn't really slept this well in several months - maybe years. He gets out of bed and goes to look in the mirror, taking in his appearance.

His eyes are brighter, full of life, and the dark circles under his eyes are less prominent than usual. Unexpectedly, he lets out a laugh, almost maniacal. He hurries to get dressed, pulling on a pair of jeans, a red t-shirt, and his old cargo jacket. Barely remember to lock his door, he runs out of his apartment and stops short when he's outside. The morning sun shines through the leaves from the nearby tree and Arthur tilts his head up, eyes closed as he breathes in the world from a new perspective. 

Arthur opens his eyes and starts walking with no destination in mind, just wanting to experience the world without the hazy fog sleep deprivation causes him. He finds himself smiling at strangers and stopping to smell flowers. His day passes in peace and Arthur takes in the feeling of finally being _content_ with his life. He even almost convinces himself that his night with Merlin has nothing to do with this newfound enlightenment. Almost.

~~

Later that evening, Arthur goes to the local coffee shop, still feeling relaxed and happy. He's almost to the door, having got his hot chocolate and chocolate brownie, when he sees a familiar mop of black hair sitting in the corner of the shop. 

Merlin is hunched over his cup, holding his head in his hands when Arthur approaches from behind him.

Arthur clears his throat over the nerves that have suddenly taken over him. "Mind if I join you?"

Merlin starts and looks up at Arthur, blinking rapidly as if he's just woken up.

"Oh, uh," Merlin stammers, "Arthur! Yes, hi! Hello. Yes, please do. How are you?"

Arthur sits down across Merlin, taking in his disheveled hair, tattered jacket, shirt with stains splattered across it, and black-framed glasses - which is a new development that Arthur never thought he'd have been turned on by.

"Are you alright, Merlin?" Arthur asks worriedly, brows furrowing.

Merlin laughs softly, "Yes, actually, I am more than alright. Oh, this?" He gestures to his outfit. "This is just the effects of no sleep and my inability to do laundry is all."

"Alright, so nothing's wrong then?" Arthur is still concerned because he knows how getting no sleep feels, and it isn't something to be happy about, like Merlin is.

"No! No, Arthur, I've started writing again." Merlin leans forward in excitement, "I haven't been able to write for four months, Arthur, and I started last night after you walked me home, and I just couldn't stop! It's brilliant!" Merlin's smile lights up his whole face despite his tired eyes.

Arthur relaxes after that, feeling genuine happiness for Merlin's happiness. "So, you think maybe I had something to do with it, maybe?" He smirks, cocking one eyebrow up. "Maybe, possibly, I'm your muse, huh?"

Merlin's smile widens and he leans back in his chair, sipping his coffee. "Despite the fact that you are a selfish, royal prat, you just might be right. 'Guess I'll just have to keep you around, then."

Arthur bites his lip to keep from smiling like an idiot in love and looks away.

A few minutes pass by while they sit in comfortable silence, stealing glances as they sip their drinks. Merlin is the one to break the silence first.

"So, my muse, since we're basically on a second date, you should tell me more about yourself." Merlin pokes at Arthur's leg with his foot, "Like why you're running from that dad of yours?" He lifts his eyebrow questioningly.

Arthur inhales a deep breath and lets out a short sigh, "Oh, right into the heavy stuff, huh?" He tries to smile but it falters a bit.

Merlin's smile falls and he goes to serious instantly, "I didn't know how 'heavy' it might be, but if you don't want to talk about it that's okay." Merlin reaches over to wrap his hand over Arthur's. "I guess I just wanted to let you know that I could see you weren't very happy, when we met, and I'm here to tell you that you can talk to me whenever you want." He squeezes his hand before pulling away.

Arthur quickly grabs Merlin's hand back and swallows the lump that's formed in his throat. "No," his voice comes out hoarse and he clears his throat, "It's alright, I... trust you, Merlin, more than I've trusted anyone and it's kind of scary because I barely know you." He lets out a shaky laugh.

Merlin squeezes his hand again and gives a small smile.

"Well, you did get the whole unhappy vibe correct. I -" Arthur feels nervous again and wonders how many times Merlin can make the butterflies flutter like that before he gets used to it, "-I guess it all kind of started when my mom died? She died giving birth to me and after that, I've been told, that my father hasn't been the same since. So, my whole life, he's kind been an, um, well an asshole," Merlin chuckles and the tension eases.

"Yeah, my father has basically been grooming me to be the perfect 'heir' to the business he runs. It's something with advertising and boring shit like that and I have never been interested in it. Not one time have I ever wanted to do that kind of work for the rest of my life. But I didn't realize this until about a month ago. One day, I just woke up and thought about everything in my life, my mom, my sister - Morgana, did I tell you I had a sister?" He's rambling and he thinks he sounds incoherent, but Merlin keeps nodding and looking at him like he's the only thing that matters, like what he feels matters so he keeps going, "And I realized that I didn't want to work for father anymore so I quit my job and moved out of my apartment the same day and just ran away pretty much. I didn't speak to my father before or after and still haven't." He doesn't mention Morgana and the darkness that surrounds her memory, he keeps her locked away in his mind like always because Arthur is selfish and he wants to keep Merlin, not scare him away. He doesn't want Merlin to know how truly horrible Arthur can be.

"Arthur, I'm so sorry about your mother and how your father's treated you, but I'm so happy you decided to do what you wanted. That's such a huge deal and I hope you know how big that really is." Merlin keeps looking at Arthur with such intense trust and _love_ that Arthur has to look away.

They continue to talk after that, more about Merlin now. It's an easy distraction for Arthur, easy for him to get lost in Merlin's past and lost in the hope to be a part of his future. He finds out that Merlin writes poems mostly and that's the book he's working on right now. He left his small home town for university in a big city but had to leave when he graduated because he couldn't afford the living expenses. Merlin has high hopes for the poems he's writing now and says he feels it might be his big break. Arthur's heart feels like it flies out of his chest as he wishes Merlin success in everything he does just so he can see his smile light up the whole room. Merlin confesses that he hasn't gone home since graduation because he's embarrassed he has nothing to show for all of his studying. Arthur wants to leap across the table and hug him but he restrains himself.

Their night together draws to a close when they realize they've spent five hours just talking. Merlin and Arthur walk out into the chilly night, neither one eager to say goodbye quite yet.

Arthur is just about to go for hug, at least not a hand shake this time, when Merlin steps closer to Arthur, right in front of him. Arthur sucks in a breath as he realizes Merlin is just mere centimeters away. Arthur notices that he can see their puffs of breath and that Merlin's nose is red, which is way too cute for Arthur's liking, before Merlin is closing the distance in a swift move. He presses their lips together gently, swiping his tongue out to briefly touch Arthur's lips before pulling away. 

Merlin ducks his head, looking at the ground, and Arthur smiles as he sees Merlin blushing (finally instead of himself). He cups Merlin's cheek with one hand and tilting his face up again. Arthur pulls Merlin in for another kiss, mouth parting as their lips meet. The kiss is still chaste and gentle, but with a sense of urgency as they chase each other's tongues with the barest hint of a touch. They both pull away, breathing heavier than before. Merlin grins and pecks Arthur on the cheek before pulling out of the embrace they've found themselves in and saying, "Not bad. For a prat." He walks away, looking over his shoulder to still see Arthur standing in the same spot, mouth gaping. Arthur hears a faint laugh before Merlin turns a corner and disappears.

Arthur finds himself walking back home, still dumbstruck by what happened. Well, shit, he thinks. Now what?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter three's song is...*drumroll*.... Latch by Sam Smith c: it's beautiful.  
> Again, sorry this took me so long to post, also sorry for the cliffhanger type thing with Morgana, but it will be my main source of angst so whoo! Let's get this sadfest going yeah?

**Author's Note:**

> So I have a song to go with this fic because I like soundtracks, so just deal with it. It's also where the title is from. The song is Sleepless Nights by Eddie Vedder. Sorry it's so short, I just wanted to set it up a bit.  
> To go on, or not to go on? That is the question.


End file.
